It's been less than 48 hours since Michael Jackson's death, and I'm still in denial. I woke up this morning, and my mind immediately went to him and denied denied denied it. I'm walking around doing the things I need to do, but I feel so empty. Like a small piece of me is missing.

I want to stay glued to the television to keep up on any current news concerning him. I'm watching the tributes airing, and I want to cry. He was so talented, and to know that there won't be anymore new albums, that his tour that he had been looking forward to won't be no more, it's heart-breaking. To think of such a wonderful artist gone is unbelievable.

I think of his family and it's sad, to have his parents bury their own son, to have his siblings have their youngest pass, his children not have their father anymore. Their lives are going to change drastically, and it's going to be difficult to adjust for them.

He went so young and so sudden, when he had so much left. So much more to accomplish. Like a lot of people, I grew up listening to his music. I remember dancing around to Smooth Criminal and hiding behind my hands watching the Thriller video. Trying to copy the moonwalk with Billie Jean playing in the background.

In my eyes, Michael Jackson wasn't the King of Pop, he was the God of Music. His music brought together so many cultures, races; it crossed generations and generations. There wasn't one before him, and there will never be another after him.

I'm being selfish though, only thinking about my loss and how I feel about it. I think he was a very sad and lonely person who wasn't very happy with where his life had ended up. He shined in the spotlight, but he was very reserved with his private life. I like to think that he is better off now, not having to suffer any longer.

I'm going back to my tattoo artist this Friday to finish up the coloring on my piece, and while I am there, and I want to get someone extra, something to remind me of my love for his music and to remember him by. ♥

This pretty much sums up how I feel right now;

I woke up from a nap and there were three text messages on my phone. Nobody ever texts me, so I knew it must have been big news. I thought there was a fire or something. Turned out, Michael Jackson is dead. I was startled, to say the least, because MJ never seemed like the kind of person that could, you know, die. To be honest, he never really registered in my consciousness as being a person; Michael Jackson was the androgynous sexual panic of "Billie Jean," the breathless seduction of "P.Y.T.," the thrilling kitsch of "Thriller," the chattering afro-popisms of "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'." The idea that he had a human body, one that needed food and air and sleep, never really clicked in my mind. But then again, I guess that's to be expected. I mean, how can a mere human being really be thought to be capable of creating something as monstrous, as mechanical, as all-encompassing, and as awesome as Thriller? This kid wasn't the king of pop; he was the whole damn kingdom. And we, the audience, are not his loyal subjects; we're just reading the travel brochures.

original link here.

I feel so empty now, my mind is always thinking about Michael and how I keep hoping this is all just a cruel joke. I want to take the train into Harlem and visit the Apollo theatre. I feel like being surrounded by people who love him as much as I do.

fuck me this can't be true. michael jackson!! i'm sitting here crying and listening to his songs on the radio. whywhywhy.

i grew up listening to his music, my whole family did! tell me this isn't true please.

help. ;-; so many

spider bites. my skin is so itchy. i grabbed my cat. placed her in my lap to keep the ugly things away. but she scratched me and left me with a lap full of cat hair.

now i am itchy and covered with hair. this is not right!!!

prom today! hope everything goes well~ :D

Okay! So with that done, I want to move onto a new subject. TATTOOS.


PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! If you have any, can you show me pictures? And tell me of your experiences?

I'm going later this week, maybe even tomorrow, with my mother and sister to watch them get their tattoos done. \o/ I wanted to wait for mine, until summer or something, but then I asked myself. WTF AM I WAITING FOR? I've been waiting for so long to get a tattoo, and now that the opportunity has presented itself, I want to wait more? fuck no. I'm going to keep on waiting, and never get anything done.

So... i'm going go get mine. Next week? The thing is, I don't know what I want. I know for certain that I want to get my upper back done. At first I went along with the idea of wings, and I've had a certain piece in mind, but now I'm not sure anymore. I also really like the idea of a cherry blossom tree back there. I've seen tons of beautiful designs, but I want something original, something just for me. I can't draw tattoos for heck though, and I'm not really creative.

I also want to get another piece, for my mom. I know I want a few lines from a Pablo Neruda poem, along with something small. I was thinking a wolf maybe?? Or like, a wolf's eye, with the words going around it. This could go on my arm, or on my inner forearm.
=

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/ap_on_re_la_am_ca/med_swine_flu (there are more articles if you look around)

this is pretty terrifying. It's already spread to Texas, California, Kansas, and they think it might also be in New York City. The people who have died so far (20 reported so far with 1,000 more ill) are ages 20 to 40, which is odd since the Flu normally targets infants and the elderly. There is no vaccine available with it being a new virus of human, bird and swine mix? which we have no immunity to. It's easily spread from person to person and it has the potential to become a pandemic.

They only advice they can give is to always wash your hands after being outside, try to avoid contact with strangers, and just keep yourself updated with the news.

*hopes for the best*

LAST NIGHT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. I DIED AND LIKE, WENT TO MUSIC HEAVEN WITH TINY LITTLE BRENDON ANGELS HOVERING AROUND MY HEAD.

Okay, so first things first.

I woke up at around 7 cause I was filled with excitement. I got dressed, and then waited for my sister to get ready, our friend to arrive. XDDDDDD Finally, we left at around 12 pm? They were hungry, so we made a quick stop at McDonalds. I got some weird stares there! I guess they aren’t used to seeing people dressed up to go to concerts? IDK From there, we took the bus to the train station. BUT! Just as I was getting the tickets, the train arrived, and the stupid train conductor didn’t want to wait 2 seconds for them to print. Needless to say, we missed that train. That meant waiting an extra hour for the next train to arrive.

It finally came though, and BOOM, we were soon at the arena. It was pretty empty when we got there, only about 20 or so people? ZACK CAME OUTSIDE! I think my sister was more excited to see him, and she didn’t know much about him.

Uhm. It was also freezing. My jacket wasn’t enough to keep the cold out! I kept on wishing I was home, or had a blanket with me. They started lining us up around 3, and it was still cold. My fingers were frozen, I could barely move them. D:

I was a bit confused, since I was under the impression the doors didn’t open until 7, and the show didn’t start till 8; I guess they pushed it back an hour early?

We had to get wristbands before they let us go to the floor area. Haha, that long long wait was worth it, because we got barrier!!!!!!!!111eleventyone You don’t know how happy that made me. :D

( how the arena looked like at the beginning )

Now onto the actual show!

( The Cab )

( Plain White T's )

( Dashboard Confessional )

( PANIC AT THE FUCKING DISCO ♥♥ )


Some other memorable parts were the people playing rock band, singing along to Bon Jovi!! Lit, Ribiculous? or whatever that guy's name was keeping the audience entertained in between sets, and Brendon. WOW. This took a while to write up and now my hands are tired XD

The concert finished around 10:30, but I didn't get home till 1. We had to take the train, and it was delayed. I dreamt about the concert, but instead of these bands, I was seeing MCR. O.o

( I leave you with the empty arena and Zack Hall )

It's raining outside, and I asked myself; what should I do? The answer was obvious. MAKE A CHRIS BROWN PICSPAM. It was frickin hard finding pictures of him, since most were repeats etc. But I did my best!

Most come from young-love.net and photobucket

(still have to add to this. someday.)



( teaser image and away we go )